My days are currently filled with high doses of pain meds, naps, and tv watching which means that I don't have much to update you with. The quick and easy: pathology report from the mastectomy says that while the cancer was invasive on the left side it does NOT require chemotherapy. The same report also says that there was a previously undetected new cancer on the right side. (I will have to post about that again once I have met with my oncologist and surgeon and understand what it means exactly.) For now, we can all give a giant whoo hoo for no chemo. If it didn't hurt so much, I'd suggest a happy dance, but...... that ain't gonna happen.
It has been a while since I shared one of the good chuckles Sean and I have had along this journey. (Trust me, we laugh A LOT---way more than we cry.) So today you get a glimpse into our little world of coping with other doctor's office.
Yesterday ,I went to a check-up with the plastic surgeon. (Oh, an update I forgot about--Dr. Lytle was able to remove 2 of my drains, only 4 more to go!) And since that office has become Sean's favorite place to make inappropriate jokes (the first visit involved him being the man behind the curtain with the Quagmire and that creepy old guy from Family Guy sound board). Gratefully the nurses have a fabulous senses of humor and we laugh hysterically at just about everything that happens there.
To truly understand this anecdote indulge me: Put your left hand over your chest (like your are going to use the wrong hand to say the Pledge of Allegiance) and wiggles your fingers. I know nothing happened when you did it, but when I did it went squish squish like a 1980s waterbed. Sounded and felt as creepy as you are imagining, but didn't hurt (that could be the two HUGE pills I took before we left the house, but who's counting).
Nicole's perspective: The doc turns away and gives directions to the nurse in what sounds like English but went by me so fast I didn't catch it all. My mind went immediately to Willy Wonka and like he was whistling to the Oompa Loompas and giving orders for sending me to the juicing machine. I kept waiting to hear him say, "but look quick...." and dancing to begin (see previous paragraph and two HUGE pills comment).
Sean's perspective (keep in mind he is not laying down on the exam table nor has he had the two HUGE pills): Doc turns away and goes over to the counter. He pulls out a syringe and needle. No, not the ordinary one that you have probably all seen at a regular doctor's appointment. BUT instead the one straight out of some freak-tastic Halloween movie. The barrel of the syringe is at least an inch and a half in diameter and the needle is at least 3 inches long. Sean and the doc start exchanging some banter about rusty needles and my looopy world hears "WAAAAhahahahahaha!" followed by a clap of thunder and flickering lights (remember those two HUGE pills--that didn't really happen but we were all laughing like it was). The nurse holds my hand and says, "you won't feel anything." and it was about then that I actually saw the harpoon he was sticking in my non-existent boob. And he really did fill that bad boy with the ick that went squish..... and now I don't go squish anymore.
Hope this made you at least giggle a little. If not, I'll give you one last try, I took my husband with me to the plastic surgeon's office when I was loopy....... Thank GOD it wasn't size picking day, that could have been a disaster.
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