This was our first full week back in school and it was a doozy. I will just touch the highlights, and then get back to my glass of wine and let the days get brighter.
First, it was supposed to be a great week. On Tuesday I had a follow up appointment with my surgeon and she informed me that my surgery was awesome. Usually, they hope to get 2mm of clear margins (healthy tissue on the outside of the cancerous tissue). For this round, they were able to get 5-10mm around my tumor. That's more than 100% better than what they hope to get!!! Can't complain about being better than expected!!!!!!
Still have to do this round of radiation. Have to pick up the 500 pound phone and make the appointments...
Second, I really want to start writing about being a mom and not a mom with cancer/battling cancer/surviving cancer. BUT this week has shown me that I have a ways to go before that gets to happen fully. BUT I have to get my cancer-mom on for a moment--I was reminded by my friend, Daniele (check out her blog lifewithpenispeople.wordpress.com) that while I am blessed to have this pink sisterhood and a plethora of options for treatment, I am lucky. I can't imagine having to take my child to these appointments. I can't imagine having to sit by and watch my child fight from the inside out. I can't imagine trying to teach them to be strong, have faith, trust in people with more knowledge than I have, believe that things will work out, that God doesn't give you more than you can handle, or worse holding their tiny hand and kissing them goodbye for the last time.... So for Pediatric Cancer Awareness Month, I am going to hug my own kids a little tighter and dust off my church clothes and go to God's house to say thank you for the strength, courage, and guidance He has given. AND I'm going to put my money where my mouth is by donating to the Jacob Michael Davis Foundation, http://www.jacobmichaeldavis.org/help.htm, because the Davis Family inspires me.
Third, I am not going to let ignorance and insult influence my decisions as a teacher. Today I sat in a meeting where a parent claimed that because I appeared sick (had no hair) in the videos I recorded and have students watch that her daughter couldn't learn from me. It was "too close to home" because they had people who have lost their battle with the big C or are fighting a good fight... (notice that I didn't use quotations, but I think I am pretty close to what she said) My first reaction was that of a concerned teacher, OMG what can I do to fix that and make it better. I will re-record my videos so that I look better, I will find other resources for her to use/watch. But as I have gained time and emotional distance from the experience, I am angry. How dare she even try to use that as a ticket to get what she wants. To even begin to explain how hard of a leap that was for me to make at that point in my journey is impossible. However, the research says it is better for students to not only hear but see their teacher in this style of presentation so that is what I did and will continue to do. As a friend told me today, that was not an example of good parenting skills. I have learned from from this experience.
So now that I have written, and finished my glass of wine. I am going to enjoy watching the PINK OUT at the Tigers game and wonder when they are going to make it a GOLD OUT for all the kids who are battling a pediatric cancer. And hug my kids a few more times.
